Why Do You Stay?

When I hear sermons or read the bible its difficult to know that you're talking to me... I mean why should I expect great things when I haven't put much effort into seeking you in the first place?
Grace-
You looked down on me and gave me things I didn't deserve.
Side by side you walked with me, and every time I was in church I paid more attention to the messages on my phone than the messages you were trying to give me. So when it came time to pray, I shut my eyes tight and assumed the position of the pretender- pretending like I was praying when all our conversations consisted of was "Our Heavenly Father" and "Amen", and even those were for the people around me and not really you. But what I don't understand is that you stuck even closer, and somewhere along the line I began to lean on you.
Now the prospect of you not being with me is something I don't like to think about. See my deepest fear is not that I am inadequate, though it does come in top 5, but that I let so much time slip away in this world that I slip off the path we were walking along together, thinking "ohhh but I have enough time to get back, and You know I love You anyway". Failing to recognise that though You agape'd me, I felayo'd You and even when I was adopted into the family of Christ I storge'd the body whilst I kept my eyes out for eross because I never really understood the word love in the first place. Agape love, felayo love, storge love, eross love, none of the names make a difference- when you're just trying to fill a void.
See I acknowledge my faults, and my weakness make me stronger, but if I'm never going be serious about this relationship then why do you stay? 
Because you are precious and honoured in my sight. I created your in most being, I knit you together in your mothers womb. I summoned you by name and you are mine. Nothing you ever do can separate you from the love that I have for you.